right and wrong


Sometimes the really big questions pop up and it’s hard to ignore them.  Like for instance how do we decide what’s right and what’s wrong.  Take something big – like cheating – and ask the big question: Is it wrong to cheat on your partner?

The answer from most people is YES. But the question is why.  Do we base our answers on religion’s ideas of right and wrong, on society’s, on the opinions of the people who we admire and want to be loved by?  Undoubtedly many of the things we’ve thought were ok in the past, we believed in them (flat world anyone?), are now seen as just the opposite, and believing something is wrong “just because it is”, the majority of the population believes it, or because it says so in the bible, doesn’t really hold water with me. 

I want to know why; I want a little more on the proof side of things.  But I’m not really sure there is an answer that is TRUE, and certainly, that is true for everyone. Science cannot prove that cheating is wrong.  In fact probably according to science and human biology, monogamy is not sustainable.  So that leaves us with the tricky question of ethics and morals.  Does the ‘badness’ of cheating rest in its duplicity, and if so, does swinging and polygamy then become the viable alternative?  Should we live individualistically and take what we want, because actually one cannot prove heaven/hell and karma exist (and if we don’t believe in them should we live by their rules?)?

Or does the ‘right/wrong’ exist in the way it makes one feel?  And is that then fear-based?  I know that if I cheated on a (mystical) boyfriend I’d feel guilt-ridden and apprehensive… probably because: if he knew he’d be hurt; I would be defying accepted regulations on how relationships are supposed to be; if the people close to me found out they would judge the cheating and most likely be disappointed in me; and he might end the relationship. 

I believe that these ‘norms’ need to be interrogated, that we cannot accept ways of living just because the society we live in sees them as right or wrong.  But then again, imagine a world without rules: it would be one crazy place!



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