YAY for breasts and vaginas.
Today is a public holiday, which makes tomorrow feel like a Monday, when in fact it’s a Wednesday, and that makes it a three day week. Yes.
I very much like being a woman. Yes indeed. And since we can do anything men can do, I’m hard-pressed to find anything lacking in my life due to my oestrogen levels. But if I was a man for a day I’d:
- get a lot of blowjobs (probably from men and women … for comparative purposes)
- do a whole bunch of strength based yoga postures which currently piss me off in my slightly less muscled feminine state
- adjust my balls in public … a lot
- shave my face just to see what the fuss is all about
- sleep with a couple of girls and see if sex really is different for a man (i.e. is sex really just sex?)
- tease my friends and call them abusive names, all in the name of affection and bonding
- get into a fist fight (or at least a little chest pushing)
- jerk off
- count how many times I think about sex in a day
- test out the lack of male toiletries scenario and how it feels not to wear make-up and not take an hour to get ready for a date
- Call someone “bru” with a straight face (preferably in the free-weights section of the gym)
- Indulge in a haircut that costs 10% of my usual snip.
And then the next day when I’m back to being female, I’d play with my boobs for a good few hours, have multiple orgasms and pout and blink to get some man to buy me a drink. Because that’s all we women do.