A change in decades and a decade of changes

This weekend is a birthday weekend.  A 30th birthday weekend.  Here’s what happens when you change digits so monumentally (and turning 30 is a big deal, let nobody tell you otherwise):

  • You realise that you were a jerk at 21 to think that everyone over 26 had one foot in the grave (and that they had life all figured out)
  • You have decided who you love and who you don’t – you have a select group of friends who you respect, admire and who make you laugh.  It’s awesome
  • You’ve had your heart shattered, indulged in some pretty crazy obsessive behaviour (in the name of love of course), usually succumbed to some pretty intense depression, taken some drugs, partied like you should (and thought you should), slept with inappropriate people, kissed people of the same sex for the attention, hated your body, loved your body, mistreated your body
  • You have worked your way through your issues, sometimes paying years’ worth of therapy bills.  You can now eloquently describe your stuff and why it’s there (even if you’re still not sure how not to repeat those same old patterns)
  • You’ve experimented – sexually, with your career, with your diet, with your chemicals, with your style
  • You know what you believe in – things like vegetarianism, living as green a life as possible, buying organic, local and in season
  • You have identified the big loves in your life – the important, significant relationships that you’ll still be thinking about when you are 94.  Maybe they never worked out, but there will always be one or two people that give you goosebumps just thinking about them; people you will love forever
  • You’ve discovered the strength of both hormones and the sun
  • You’ve travelled with just a backpack and haven’t given much thought to putting money away for a rainy day
  • You don’t really care so much what other people think
  • You know what you like, who you are and what you will and won’t accept
  • You also know that what you know isn’t really all that much, and that having an open-mind is your biggest asset
  • You’ve learnt through lengthening and strengthening that all the hype about yoga isn’t just hype
  • You know that people change; everything changes.  All the time.  Your joy is your number one priority. 

I don’t really feel very different to what I did at 27 (that’s the age I still think I am), but I feel way different to what I did at 21 (thank God).  2011 has been a wild but wonderful year – pretty much 3 years in the space of 11 months – and although I didn’t really have a list of things that I ‘would be’ or ‘would have’ at 30, I do feel like my 30th year has been bloody phenomenal, with so many things coming together (sometimes through coming apart).  I by no means have very much figured out, but I can say that I am happy: being the age I am now is flippingawesome.com.