Well finally.  Three years of ashtanga and here I am standing up from backbends.  Something happened to my body in the last two weeks and my flexibility and strength both went up a notch; most significantly my flexibility.  And then on Saturday, TA-DA, up I stood from urdhva dhanurasana.

I’ve been waiting for this moment for months, reading about technique, watching endless You Tube videos and finally after a few weeks of practicing at home without any assistance from a teacher (and just a friendly wall) it happened.  And I did do a little whooping and dancing, but not as much as I thought I would; because when it actually happened, it wasn’t really as hard as I thought it would be.

I let some stuff go in the last month; more specifically I intentionally let some stuff go to create space for new people and things.  And they arrived; and with them my flexibility increased, my upper back opened and I had some definite happy hormones coursing through my veins.

A teacher once said to me that when I stood up finally (and apparently I’ve been on the brink for months), all sorts of things would change in my life.  It’s scary and terrifying to both drop back and stand up from a backbend … in fact it feels sometimes near impossible, with everything you’ve ever been afraid of suddenly right up in your face.  The same teacher said that in finding my courage to stand up, I’d find my courage to stand up for myself in life.

I think she may just be right.

Resoultion 101

I’m back from a delicious holiday and almost fully back into my work year.  It’s not easy.  I’ve spent the last two weeks booking holidays and yoga workshops for 2012, which has gone some way to boosting my ‘looking forward to’ quotient.  I’ve also, since I landed (thump!) back from dreamy Mozambique, put together a list of resolutions, which looks something like this:

Joy board

I did a joy boarding exercise last night, which is a creative couple of hours where you let your mind go and page through various magazines looking for images that make your heart sing (attaching no meaning/judgements to the images that attract you; i.e. no “that’s really materialistic/superficial and so not me”).  These were them, and they (and what they represent) are where my joy is at for 2012. 

Not everything is literal (although a man covered in whipped-cream might well be): for instance luxury items may symbolise wealth, upping fees in line with worth, demanding a little more pay for services rendered; while fit bodies could mean getting in shape, or in my case, a more groundedness/rootedness in the body. 
It’s a deeply personal activity, and can offer some insights into where you are in your life, where your priorities lie right now, and what you actually really, really want.  And it should leave you feeling happy, joyful and excited for the future.
Jen x