Well finally.  Three years of ashtanga and here I am standing up from backbends.  Something happened to my body in the last two weeks and my flexibility and strength both went up a notch; most significantly my flexibility.  And then on Saturday, TA-DA, up I stood from urdhva dhanurasana.

I’ve been waiting for this moment for months, reading about technique, watching endless You Tube videos and finally after a few weeks of practicing at home without any assistance from a teacher (and just a friendly wall) it happened.  And I did do a little whooping and dancing, but not as much as I thought I would; because when it actually happened, it wasn’t really as hard as I thought it would be.

I let some stuff go in the last month; more specifically I intentionally let some stuff go to create space for new people and things.  And they arrived; and with them my flexibility increased, my upper back opened and I had some definite happy hormones coursing through my veins.

A teacher once said to me that when I stood up finally (and apparently I’ve been on the brink for months), all sorts of things would change in my life.  It’s scary and terrifying to both drop back and stand up from a backbend … in fact it feels sometimes near impossible, with everything you’ve ever been afraid of suddenly right up in your face.  The same teacher said that in finding my courage to stand up, I’d find my courage to stand up for myself in life.

I think she may just be right.